Grown Ups
by Cottonbud
Summary: As the title says this is a future fic and is a mixture of Stan/Kyle and Kyle/Cartman slash. About the boys growing up and realizing what (and who) they really want in life


CRASH!...Kyle's head shot up at the sound of the front door slamming shut and his heart started to beat louder in anticipation. Stan was home at last from spending the weekend with Wendy over in Rhode Island . Kyle felt his stomach clench at the thought but he shook it off quickly. It didn't matter now Stan was back and in just 2 weeks time they would be setting off on a grand adventure. They'd both just finished their final year at college and they had made a pact back in high school that they would take a year off before they joined the great unwashed mass that was the salaryman, to go travelling around the world together...just the two of them. They'd both been saving for five years for this and they'd spent many evenings planning the trip, discussing where they wanted to go what they wanted to see. They'd bought their round the world flights last week and the tickets were sitting safely in Kyle's desk along with their passports and various currency and their proposed itinerary. It was finally happening, Kyle was finally going to get Stan all to himself.

Kyle had loved Stan forever, he couldn't even pinpoint a time when the feelings had first started. It had just been an organic thing. One day he had woken up to discover he had just had his first wet dream and he hadn't been at all surprised that Stan had played the starring role. It hadn't been quite as simple for Stan. When they had been 13 or so they had fooled around with mutual masturbation as they explored their developing sexuality. But on one occasion Kyle had leant in to kiss Stan when they'd both been close to coming and Stan had pushed him off roughly and told him not to be so gay!. Shortly after that Stan had asked Wendy out properly and Kyle had been gutted. But the path for true love had never run smooth for Stan and Wendy and Stan would still sometimes turn to Kyle for physical solace when things weren't going well. Although he still wouldn't let Kyle kiss him he would let Kyle blow him, in fact Stan admitted once that Kyle was much better at that than Wendy and Kyle had held onto to that secret to warm him on cold nights.

At Bebe's 16th birthday party things changed forever. Stan had been hopeful that Wendy would finally go the whole way with him. He'd planned everything, even arranged a motel room for the two of them and told his parents they would be staying overnight at Bebe's. However Wendy decided she wasn't ready and had pushed him away. Stan got so angry he had imbibed heavily on the alcohol smuggled in by Kenny & Craig and then he'd demanded that Kyle take him to the motel as he'd already paid for it. Kyle had helped his drunken friend inside, Stan berating Wendy as a girlfriend all the way, telling Kyle that she was terrible kisser as well as terrible at blow jobs. "You're good at blow jobs though" he told Kyle earnestly. " I bet you are good at kissing too." With that Stan had suddenly pushed him down on to the bed falling on top of him effectively pinning the smaller boy down with his body weight. Then Kyle had felt Stan's hard lips upon his own, he'd tried to stop it at first, knowing Stan was drunk but as he felt Stan's hands undo his shirt and slide in to caress his chest, Kyle had know he couldn't stop now he had wanted this too long. Somehow the two boys had ended up naked, hard erections pressed together. "I want to fuck you Kyle" Stan had whispered into his ear "Can I fuck you? What do I need to do?" Kyle felt his heart thumping in his chest and knew he had to do this. Although he was a virgin too he knew enough to know they needed something slick to help, so with some reluctance he untangled himself from Stan and checked the bathroom where he found a small bottle of hand cream. Stan was lying on his back his hand on his own cock stroking slowly as he waited for Kyle to return and he looked so hot that Kyle forgot any embarrassment. He placed some lotion on his fingers and reaching behind himself he eased in one finger, he had done this at home when pleasuring himself but never in front of someone else. But Stan seemed intrigued and his hand started moving faster on his own arousal, so Kyle added a second finger and that hurt a bit. He scissored his fingers but adding a third was awkward in his position so he decided it would have to be enough. He knocked Stan's hand away slicking up his cock with extra lotion to ease things, then getting up on the bed squatting over the prone brunet below him, Kyle edged Stan's cock to his entrance. It was tight and it hurt and it felt like ages before he had Stan fully seated inside him. The pain had caused his own arousal to die but the look of ecstasy on Stan's face was so worth it. He eased up and back again and Stan groaned in pleasure so Kyle did it again and then Stan was matching him thrust for thrust. It didn't take long, for which Kyle was grateful, for Stan to tense up and groan as the heat filled him up inside. It felt fantastic even he hadn't orgasmed this time but the first time was always supposed to be the most uncomfortable.

When they had woken up the next morning Kyle half expected Stan to jump out of bed denying everything but after an initial groan of embarrassment Stan had gathered the smaller boy into his arms and kissed him whispering in his ear. "Sorry Kyle I didn't make that so good for you. It'll be better next time" and Kyle's heart had flared at the promise of future times together.

Even though Wendy had finally relented shortly after that and Stan and Wendy started sleeping together he had kept his promise and Stan would fuck Kyle from time to time and it did get better. Kyle was just grateful Stan still wanted to fuck him too. Stan explained that although Wendy was his girl, Kyle was his boy and they both had a place in his heart. Kyle was just grateful he still had a place and hadn't wanted to risk it so he lived with it whilst they were at school.

Then college started and Wendy chose to go to Brown's to study Business whilst Kyle had followed Stan to South County. Kyle had thought that this would be the end of Stan and Wendy and it would just be him and Stan from then on, but somehow it never actually happened. Stan would always claim it wasn't fair on Wendy, that she needed time to move on gradually so he didn't have to hurt her. Then finally in their last year, talking about their year travelling together Kyle finally convinced Stan he had to break it off with Wendy as he'd be gone a year and it wasn't fair on her. Stan had gone over there this weekend to do the deed finally.

As soon as Stan entered the room Kyle could tell it had been a tough weekend. He looked defeated, his shoulders were drooped low, his face was tired. "Oh Stan" Kyle gasped in sympathy."Was it that bad!" Stan just nodded silently keeping his eyes on the floor. Kyle knew Stan had been fond of Wendy and it must have been hard to upset her like this, but it had to be done. Kyle got up and wrapped his arms around his friend, his boyfriend, and Stan just slumped bonelessly into his embrace. Kyle almost carried Stan in to their room laying them both down on the bed and wrapping himself around his friend as he realized Stan was crying. It must have been harder than he thought. "Ssh, it's ok, it's done now" Kyle whispered into Stan's soft locks. He moved his hand's to cup Stan's face lifting it up so their eyes could meet, he softly placed his own lips on Stan's "It's ok, hush now" he continued to murmur into the soft lips below his own. Then suddenly he felt Stan's arms clench around him turning them over so Kyle was below and Stan's lips pressing into his hard and demanding. Kyle opened his mouth in response which was immediately invaded by Stan's thrusting tongue. Kyle groaned and before he knew it Stan had ripped his jogger pants and underwear off him in one long sweep of his arm and had his own jeans open a second later his cock already hard and throbbing. Kyle gasped at the feel of fingers digging into his arse without any preparation which hurt, but the passion Stan was displaying was hot and Kyle could feel himself responding despite the discomfort. He saw Stan spit on his palm and slick up his cock. "The lube is just in the drawer" Kyle panted concerned now at this unusual display from his flatmate. "No time" Stan grunted in response, his face was red and his eyes glazed and even as he spoke the head of his cock was nudging at Kyle's puckered hole. "SHIT" kyle couldn't hold back the scream as he felt Stan's mushroom head penetrate the tight muscled ring before it was fully prepared. His erection deflated a little at the pain. "Stan" he gasped "Stan touch me please" he pleaded but Stan didn't seem to be able to hear anything he was now pounding into Kyle's arse like a wild animal. This was hot in theory and with a little more preparation it could have been hot in practice. Kyle had never seen Stan like this before, it must be a reaction to dumping Wendy and finally committing to Kyle, Kyle felt his erection respond to that thought and as Stan wasn't going to do the honours he placed his own hand on his cock and started to rub just as Stan gave one final grunt, stiffened and came. Stan collapsed on top of Kyle preventing any further self stimulation.

Kyle gave Stan a few minutes to recover before nudging him. "hey, great welcome, but what about me huh?" he joked.

Stan grunted and rolled off turning his back to Kyle to sit on the side of the bed his shoulders slumped. Kyle frowned this wasn't right, it must have been hard to tell Wendy but it should have been a relief to come home.

Kyle reached out to rub the back of Stan's neck but Stan flinched at the touch pulling away immediately. "What is it? What happened?" Kyle couldn't keep the panic from his voice, something had gone wrong. "Did Wendy do something?"

"I'm sorry Kyle, I'm so sorry" Stan's voice sounded rough, as though his throat were raw. He still wasn't looking at Kyle. Kyle climbed off the bed to kneel in front of Stan, he felt slightly ridiculous dressed in just his t-shirt and socks whilst Stan was still fully dressed although his now limp cock was laying outside his trousers. "Stan talk to me" Kyle used his firm lawyer voice. "I need to know what happened. Did you break it off with Wendy? Did she threaten you?" Stan shook his head

"No to what Stan, no to breaking it off with Wendy or no to threatening you" Kyle was trying to keep his voice steady but he could feel his stomach clenching in fear. Stan had never been able to break it off with Wendy before, what if he had failed again. "It's ok if you couldn't do it" Kyle carried on "Look we are going to be away for a year she'll move on while we are away. It's not the best way to do it but..."

"NO" Stan croaked again but this time louder. He grabbed Kyle's hands raising his head to stare into Kyle's eyes. "Wendy and I...w. are...g.g.g getting married" Stan stuttered.

Kyle gasped in pain pulling his hinds from the tight clasp he fell backwards onto his still sore arse. "It's a joke tell me it's a joke, is she blackmailing you?"

Stan's head was resting in his hands again so he couldn't see his best friend displayed in front of him. It was probably easier that way.

"No" Stan's voice was low, almost a whisper. "I asked her to marry me...I want to marry her...I love her, Kyle. I always have."

"What about me..." Stan could hear Kyle's voice break, could hear the distress and he couldn't look at him.

"I love you too Kyle, you're my best friend, I didn't want to hurt you...I tried to tell you, I tried so often"

"Your best friend?" Kyle's voice was now very soft almost inaudible, Stan could almost hear his heart breaking in the middle of the sentence.

"YOU DON"T FUCK YOUR BEST FRIEND" Stan kept his head down but he could hear Kyle now walking around the room. "So what all this time I've been a pity fuck, what if I tell Wendy, huh? She won't want you then"

Stan looked up then the shock must have been clear on his face because Kyle recoiled. "YOU BASTARD STAN MARSH" Kyle's fist connected with his cheek and Stan felt and heard the sickening crunch, he fell back on the bed. "WHAT ABOUT OUR TRIP..STAN. EVERYTHING WE PLANNED"

Stan kept his eyes closed so he didn't have to see the anger and hatred in his best friends eyes. "I'm going to work with Wendy's dad's company. I start next Monday" he admitted weakly.

"and that...that...just now...what was that Stan, a pity fuck, coz I didn't even get off. You just took your own pleasure and left me high and dry – a metaphor for our whole friendship isn't it. YOU ARE ONE SELFISH FUCKER. You and Wendy deserve one another. I never want to see you again. You Bastard.

Stan lay there as he listened to the sounds of his ex best friend, his ex lover pack a bag to leave his life forever. This was what he had wanted to avoid, he'd tried for years to find a way to avoid this and he hadn't been able to. Wendy had finally given him an ultimatum commit to her or end it and he hadn't wanted to end it. Kyle was right he was a bastard, a stupid weak bastard and now he'd hurt the man that meant the most to him in the world. Stan curled up on the bed and started to cry, why couldn't he have felt the same way about Kyle that Kyle felt for him, it would all have been so simple then.

Kyle sat in his car at one end of the street he'd grown up in. After Stan's confession he'd just packed a bag throwing in anything that came to hand quickly, not really looking at what he grabbed. He probably had a mismatch of items that clashed. The only thing he had deliberately packed where the two around the world air tickets which he held in his hand now. They represented all his dreams and plans for the future and everything that had just gone to shit. He'd lost his best friend and lover in one move. "way to go Kyle". He'd rung home told his Mother he would be staying with them for a couple of weeks and there must have been something in his voice because she'd not asked any questions, just told him his room would be waiting for him.

He wasn't ready yet to face his family though which is why he was sitting in his car at one end of his street brooding over airline tickets when suddenly his reverie was broken by a sharp rapping on his car window.

"SHIT" he jumped at the sudden interruption his heart throbbing, turning he saw a large face looming at the window looking in at him.

Kyle hit the window button "Cartman" he acknowledged ungraciously, really he couldn't get a break Eric Cartman really was the last person he wanted to see. "What you doin' creeping up on me". He hadn't seen Cartman since they graduated High School four years ago, but they hadn't really been friends for much longer than that. "Kaaahl" Cartman intoned in that well remembered nasal whine that still made Kyle's hackles rise. "I'm not creeping, I'm running. You're the one lurking suspiciously in your car on a street corner. What ya doing out here, mummy dearest is probably waiting for the return of her prodigal son..." Cartman stuck his big head in the car window making a show of looking around suspiciously. "So where is Stan.. I thought you two were surgically conjoined like Siamese twins...don't tell me he has finally given you the flick?"

"FUCK OFF" Kyle couldn't help his reaction he was still too sore, too raw to take any shit from the fatboy.

"Woah" Cartman rocked back on his heels holding his hands up in mock surrender "Lovers tiff. Aah explains your presence back in sunny South Park and why you can't face your nosy Mother yet"

"Get Lost Cartman" Kyle practically whined, he sounded pathetic even to himself and worse he could feel the tears he'd been trying to hold back start to form again. Cartman stood up and Kyle initially thought by some miracle the bigger man had listened for once in his life but then his passenger door opened and a large body was folding itself into his passenger seat.

"What...what... get out, what do you think you are doing." Kyle stormed, tears forgotten again as his irritation with the fatboy started to grow.

"Come on – you can take me for a drink, the Old Bull will be fairly quiet we can talk there" The other man just sat there his arms crossed looking ahead at the street. Kyle just gaped at him. This was typical of Cartman to just think he could commandeer Kyle and his car like this...but on the other hand he really couldn't face his family right now and a drink did sound good.

"Hmmmpf" he huffed but he turned the key in the engine and drove to the Old Bull anyway. "You're buying though fat arse" he huffed angrily but the other boy just chuckled.

Cartman exited the car first and without waiting strode away in to the bar, Kyle found himself scurrying after the taller man which is the first time he'd actually allowed himself to register the changes in him. It seemed "fat arse" wasn't a really appropriate name anymore. Cartman had to be at least 180cm tall, with long, strong legs and a lean body currently dressed in running gear which moulded to a well formed, muscled frame and a very well formed, rounded but firm arse. Shit when did Cartman get hot, Kyle felt his face flushing at the thought which also turned out to be just the moment Cartman turned around and caught him looking. "Admiring the view Kaahl" he drawled a knowing smirk on his fat face. Well actually not fat, broad maybe but with chiselled cheekbones and a well defined chin. "You've even got a chin" Kyle couldn't help himself splutter and then he flushed even deeper. "Yeah" Cartman agreed "Who knew eh?" He shrugged nonchantly. He turned and grabbed the beer and coke he had obviously already ordered from the bar tender, before Kyle could complain that he wanted something stronger than coke the beer was plonked in his unresisting hand. "I'll be the designated driver" Cartman offered casually "I get the feeling you need a drink more than I do". They made their way to a corner table, although the bar wasn't busy the corner table would give them some privacy if it got busier later.

Kyle downed half his beer in one gulp, it felt good. He felt his shoulders slump as some of the tension of the last few hours left him. He looked up under lowered lashed at the man opposite him. It was Cartman, he could see the fat boy he knew growing up but he had changed. The army must have been good for him. "So why aren't with your unit or whatever" Kyle finally asked. Cartman raised an eyebrow. "Discharged from service a few months back" he replied succinctly "My turn. Where is Stan?"

Kyle blanched, he felt the beer he'd just drunk turn in his stomach. "With Wendy" he spat "They are getting married". He drank another swig of his beer "So why were you discharged, what did you do?" he spat spitefully at the other boy. It would be typical Cartman to be discharged for dishonourable behaviour. The other man just shrugged "A bit of this, a bit of that... Actually I got injured."

"What" Kyle looked at the other man suspiciously "I can't see anything and you seem to be moving ok. Where did you get hurt."

"Nah, you had your turn, my question now but first let's get you another beer". Kyle watched as Cartman strode back upto the bar, man if he had just met him in a bar Kyle would be seriously attracted to him but that was sick..this was Eric Cartman, bane of his childhood. "Yo Jew" came the call from across the bar reminding him who this actually was. "You want some nuts to go with that beer. I know you love sucking on my nuts" Kyle just scowled at the other man who just laughed before returning with another beer and a couple of bags of nuts anyway.

"So, why are you back in South Park. Thought you'd have some high powered Jew lawyer job lined up by now?"

Kyle felt his heart drop at the reminder, he felt in his pocket and grabbed the flight tickets throwing them on the table. Cartman picked them glancing at the details and the names. "Aah the arsehole dropped you and your holiday plans for the brunette. So you still going?"

"No. No point on my own it was supposed to be our trip..." he sounded so whiney. "Don't want to go on my own" that didn't sound any better. "Damn I'm getting another beer" While at the bar he also ordered a double whiskey which he downed before heading back with his beer and coke for Cartman. He could feel the longed for numbing relief of the alcohol starting to flood through him.

"So where were you injured then" he asked, his words starting to slow and slur slightly. He peered at the other man carefully.

"In my right shoulder" Cartman moved the shoulder carefully as if it still hurt. "let me see" Kyle demanded. "Nah, another time maybe" Cartman replied.

"No, I want to see, I don't believe you" Kyle accused "You always made things up at school" He lurched across the table trying to grab the other man's t-shirt, but Cartman easily avoided his grasping fingers. "Come on time to go home and face the music" Cartman replied putting one large arm around the smaller man, guiding him gently out of the bar towards his car. Kyle didn't remember much of the drive home, the tension, stress and alcohol combined knocked him out but the next thing he was aware of was being shaken awake by a large hand on his shoulder. "Come on you ginger freak, or I'll have to carry you in." Kyle left the car reluctantly taking the keys Cartman handed to him. "Good luck with your Mother. I'd offer to stay for moral support but she scares the hell out of me". Kyle felt a smile tug at his lips "Coward" he muttered, but he nodded as Cartman took off at a loping run down the road.

The next morning he woke up with a pounding head, it hadn't been difficult to stave off his parents enquiries. He just told them he and Stan had fought and his plans for a year off, travelling had been cancelled. His parents were so pleased at the news that he was going to look for a job and settle in as a useful member of society that they let him off from any further inquisition on what he and Stan had fought about. He'd looked for the tickets when he woke up but couldn't find them and guessed he must have left them in the bar. Oh well, no good to him and they weren't eligible for refunds anyway.

After his second cup of coffee his head was just starting to ease when he heard his phone go off. His heart leapt at the thought that maybe it was Stan ringing to say he'd made a mistake, but a quick glance at the screen told him it was Cartman. He must have programmed his number into his phone last night when he was passed out in the car. Typical Cartman.

"yeah" he knew the tone was unfriendly but he really couldn't face that arse today.

"Get your gear" the deep voice on the other end of the phone resonated. "I want to grab some breakfast and you can drive us"

"Good morning to you too Cartman" he snapped "Maybe I don't want to get breakfast or maybe I've already eaten, or maybe I'm busy."

"I know you are not busy coz you only just got home, and if you don't want to eat you can just watch me instead. Come on I don't know anyone else now, everyone else has left it's just you and me left of the old crew. We can keep each other company. I'm at your door now so move your fat arse and open it"

"Damn it Cartman" Kyle threw open the door and found himself staring at a broad chest dressed in a blue cotton shirt today, his eyes wondered upwards. He could feel an itch in his fingers as though they wanted to reach out and touch that broad expanse in front of him, which was ridiculous this was a Cartman but damn he'd forgotten how tall Cartman had grown. Finally his green eyes met the knowing hazel eyes of the other man's, shit did Cartman know what he'd been thinking?

"Come on then if we are going" Kyle growled annoyed with himself more than the other man.

As he sat over this greasy fry-up , which turned out to be just what he needed, Kyle watched in wonder as Cartman shovelled down a double stack of pancakes with a mountain of bacon and maple syrup. "man how did you lose all that weight if you still eat like that" he asked in wonder. Cartman leaned back patting his taut stomach, "exercise is the key, running, weights and my all time favourite..." Cartman leaned forward confidentially"...sex, lots of sex".

"So you have a girlfriend then" Kyle asked casually. It seemed weird imagining Cartman with a girl.

"Nah, Girls are not really my scene. I don't have the polish they look for in a bloke, anyway I prefer something a bit rougher, more ..masculine" Cartman raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Y. 're GAY!" Kyle almost screamed, then he looked around nervously but Cartman seemed unconcerned. "Sure am" he confirmed "Total cock whore me"

"But you were in the army...isn't that frowned on in there...is that why you got discharged?" Kyle felt flustered for some reason knowing Cartman liked men.

Cartman just raised an eyebrow. "What century are you living in? Ok they don't like you to flaunt it but I wasn't alone, anyway I told you I got injured.." he winked suggestively.

"So, eh, you have a boyfriend then?" Kyle asked but his voice squeaked a little at the end of the question.

The self satisfied smile seemed to slip off of Cartman's face and he suddenly sat up straighter.

"No...not any more anyway" his answer was abrupt he was obviously trying to discourage further questions, but what the hell he'd pried into Kyle's private business.

"What happened then?" Kyle persisted

Cartman looked at him as though weighing something up, he seemed to make a decision. "I'll tell you about Mike if you tell me what really happened between you and Stan" Kyle spluttered on the coffee he was drinking. "There is nothing to tell" he tried to argue but Cartman just raised an eyebrow knowingly. This was Cartman, Cartman had always known his weak points, always been able to read him. Cartman had known Kyle was gay before Kyle had. He finally nodded. "But not here, not now"

"Ok tomorrow night, my Mother is visiting her sister, I'll cook for us"

"You can cook" Kyle's voice reflected his surprise.

"I was part of the catering corp in the army" Cartman admitted I've learnt a few tips especially if you like beans.

Kyle smiled briefly at the thought of Cartman in a pinny cooking for a crew of army men. "Ok " he agreed " I'll bring some wine"

The next evening Kyle picked through the clothes he had brought with him. He'd been so upset at the time he hadn't really taken notice of what he'd packed so he didn't have much. He decided in the end to wear his jeans and borrowed a plain white t-shirt from Ike's cupboard that was a little small for him. It highlighted his lean toned torso, he might not be built on Cartman's scale but he worked out when he had time, and over that he threw an old shirt. He thought he looked ok, casual, for a dinner with an old friend. He blushed at the direction of his thoughts, what did it matter what he looked like this was dinner with Cartman, ok Cartman seemed alot more mature and reasonable from the boy he'd grown up with but still..

When Cartman opened the door Kyle was greeted with a harassed looking man who really was wearing a pinny, obviously his mother's, over dark jeans and a v neck sweater which clung to him. He looked good Kyle noticed, if you were interested in that sort of thing, which he wasn't, because he was still hung up on Stan, he quickly clarified to himself. He was also greeted with a waft of delicate aromas floating from the kitchen. "Wow" he said in genuine appreciation "That smells fantastic...a curry?"

"uh huh... come in, it won't be long. Lets open the wine.

The meal was as delicious as it smelt, a chicken curry with fluffy white rice and Naan bread. Kyle found himself with second helpings. He patted his stomach "I haven't eaten this well in ages" he admitted. "What other secret skills are you hiding from me?"

"I'm also an incredible lover" Cartman waggled his eyebrow's suggestively. Kyle squirmed uncomfortably, he really didn't want to talk about lovers it reminded him of Stan. Cartman seemed to realize his mistake because he quickly changed the subject, grabbing the bottle of wine off the table, he nodded towards the living room, "Come on let's get comfortable for the next bit" Cartman flopped down on the lounge his long legs curling over the arm, so Kyle took the armchair seating precariously on the edge, uncomfortable with what was to come.

They sat in silence for several minutes sipping their wine, before Cartman suddenly cleared his throat. "Ok I'll go first. I met Mike at the training camp, we joined at the same time, but he was a bit older than me. I think he felt sorry for me, I'd lost some weight but I was still the small town, fat kid with a huge chip on my shoulder. Anyway he ignored all my sniping and insults, I really was a little shit back then, brushed them off as if he didn't even notice, then one night after I'd been there a month or so he found me in the back of the gym, sobbing my eyes out." Kyle glanced up in surprise he would never expect the Eric Cartman he knew to admit that sort of weakness. "I was lonely, I'd made myself an outcast just like I had at school but I didn't even have you guys anymore to hang with. Mike somehow just understood and he took me under his wing, if I got lippy he'd slap me down, and he taught me I had to, you know, let myself be a bit vulnerable if i wanted to make friends. I fell for him immediately and I couldn't believe it when he told me he felt the same. We were both sent out to Afghanistan together. It was tough out there but we had each other. Then six months ago, there was an ambush, our troop was caught in the middle of it, it was chaos... We both got shot, I lived...Mike didn't..." the silence was deafening, Kyle could hear his heart thumping in his chest. "Shit, Eric, thats'...shit"

"Yeah" came the understated response.

"I feel guilty even telling my story now" Kyle tried to explain

"No way" Cartman exploded I told you my story you can't welsh on the agreement now. "Spit it out Jew Boy"

Kyle dipped his head in defeat. "I love Stan, I always loved Stan" Kyle admitted.

"I know that bit" Cartman prompted "what happened when you moved away together I thought that was your happy ever after?"

"So did I...but I was kidding myself. Stan never gave up Wendy, he always made excuses why he couldn't dump her, it would be cruel, she would be heart broken, it was kinder to wait until she met someone else...the truth is it was me he was trying to dump and I just didn't know it. I just didn't get it. I don't think he ever wanted to be more than my friend, he just thought he'd lose me if he didn't, you know...fuck me"

"Thats pathetic" Cartman spat. Kyle hid his face in his hands. "Yeah I know I'm pathetic"

"No not you dummy, Stan. So what? he couldn't say no to you, he couldn't say, sorry mate I love you as a friend but I'm not gay. He led you and Wendy on together for what like 5 years..."

"8" Kyle corrected sadly.

"EIGHT YEARS and the fucker couldn't find a way to tell you the truth...Man...what did you see in him" The larger man actually sounded angry.

"Dont, don't" Kyle pleaded, the tears starting to drop. "I feel so pathetic, so stupid already, but I still love him, he has been my life, all my life, what do i do now without him. Worse than losing my lover I've lost my best friend." The tears he had been holding back for 3 days finally starting to fall uncontrollably. He felt strong arms pull him into a warm firm chest. He turned his head to hide his face in that comforting warmth and let out all the pain and fear he'd been holding in. When finally the storm had started to pass, and the calm began to descend he became aware that the chest on which he rested his head was heaving too, he looked up to see the tears running down the other man's face. He lifted one hand to gently wipe the cheek above him. "I'm sorry, Eric. I'm sorry for your loss" Their eyes met. "I miss him so much" Eric admitted softly their foreheads touched as their eyes locked, each recognising the pain and loss reflected back at them. Then two pairs of lips were tentatively touching, it was more a soft caress rather than an expression of passion and Kyle could feel himself sinking into the comfort it gave him. Then the warmth was suddenly gone as Eric stood up. Kyle couldn't help feel disappointed at the loss so when he saw Eric's large hand held out to him he didn't hesitate to grab it or allow himself to be drawn out of the living room, up the stairs and into Eric's bedroom. Without words they both undressed to their underwear and t-shirts and climbed into bed, rolling into each other's arms as though they had done this for years. They lay there kissing softly and holding onto each other until they both finally drifted asleep.

When Kyle awoke the next morning he thought for a moment he was in bed with Stan, that it was Stan's arm he could feel wound around his waist, Stan's leg between his own and Stan's morning wood pressing into the cleft of his arse and it was only after he had snuggled backwards wriggling his arse into the other man's groin that he remembered the previous evening and realised that it was Cartman behind him. The shock brought him fully awake and he would have jumped out of bed except the arm about him tensed pulling him more firmly backwards. "Where do you think you are going" a rough voice whispered into his ear, the warm breath tickling the side of his neck causing him to shiver involuntarily. Cartman obviously noticed the reaction because suddenly Kyle could feel warm lips pressed just behind his jaw, one of his more sensitive zones and he couldn't help the almost reflex reaction as his cock started to stiffen. "Cartman" he tried to exclaim in reprimand but was disappointed that it came out more as a breathy whisper. "guuuh!" He could feel a hand making it's way under his t-shirt, caressing his stomach. "Cartman, Eric, we can't do this" he knew his body wasn't giving the same message and he trembled as he felt Eric's fingers brush his nipples.

"Why not?" came the reply behind him. Kyle was pleased that Eric's voice sounded just as strained as his own. "We are both young, free and single and both incredibly..." a warm hand suddenly descended to grip his now straining cock, still clothed in his boxers "...horny". Kyle just groaned in response pushing himself further into that hard grasp, other than that last night with Stan when he hadn't actually got off anyway, it had been a while, what with final exams and the stress of telling Wendy , or so Kyle had thought at the time, he and Stan hadn't actually had sex in a while and this felt good. Right at this time Kyle couldn't think of one good reason not to do this, other that the fact that this was Cartman of course. Kyle just decided to stop thinking and go with the flow, turning in the other man's arm he pressed their mouth's together, biting the lip of the other man, demanding entry for his hungry tongue which was quickly granted and soon they were scrambling to remove the remainder of their clothes, touching, caressing, licking and biting greedily at each other like starving men at a banquet. Kyle paused to inspect the damage in Eric's right shoulder, a nasty puckered scar, that ran down his chest and under his arm, he reached out to touch it gently and Cartman shivered under his caress, so Kyle reached across using his tongue to follow the scar tissue. The rough feel of the damaged skin under his tongue was strangely erotic and with one final kiss, Kyle moved down the torso beneath him running his tongue and lips over the muscled form. Where Stan had been lightly muscled and fit with a smooth chest, Eric bulged with muscle definition and the hair on his chest carried on across stomach leading down like an arrow to his groin. It was so different from his experience to date yet still amazing in it's difference. He heard Cartman's sharp intake of breath as his lips finally slid over the head of the waiting cock. He heard his name fall from the other man's lips as a groan as he took more of his shaft down his throat. Kyle knew he was good at this, Stan loved his blow jobs. But before long he felt Cartman pulling at his hair, pulling him off urgently. "Not yet" the voice croaked almost unrecognizable now, "It's been a while and I'll blow too soon if you keep that up." Cartman rolled over to one side and started fishing in his bedside cabinet, Kyle guessed what he was searching and suddenly felt nervous, he wasn't sure he was ready for someone other than Stan to be inside him. Sure enough Cartman rolled back with a triumphant look on his face holding a small tube and a condom, the smile dropped when he saw Kyle's nervous expression and the way his hands were gripping the bed sheets. Cartman grabbed one of his nervous hand to stop it picking at the sheet. "Hey it's ok I know it's been a while for me but I'm sure you won't hurt me"

"What!" Kyle knew he must look like a startled goldfish but he couldn't help himself "You want me to..." Kyle waved his hand in the general direction of Cartman's arse. The other man raised one eyebrow in a mocking question. "Don't tell me you have never been the top...no why should I be surprised? " he answered himself "Stan was prepared to fuck you but not let you fuck him I suppose. His loss...and yours." A lascivious glint shone in Cartman's eyes. "Oh you'll really love this" he chuckled spreading a little of the lube on the fingers of his left hand, he raised his leg and reached under it to dip his fingers between the cheeks of his arse. Kyle just sat there, he knew he must be wearing a completely stunned look on his face but he couldn't move his eyes away from the movement of Cartman's fingers, it was such a wanton display, he was probably drooling.

"So don't just sit there" Cartman's voice broke into his trance "Help me out here" Cartman was offering the tube to Kyle who took it mechanically, still not moving his eyes away from the sight of the finger moving in and out of that tight puckered hole. But the feel of the tube in his hand seemed to wake him up and suddenly he wanted, no he needed, to feel that warmth on his own fingers. Within seconds he had own hand greased up and he pulled Cartman's hand out of the way so he could push first one finger and then very quickly a second into the inviting depths. He gasped as he felt the silken texture grip his fingers almost pulling them in, this was the first time he had done this to someone other than himself and it felt amazing. From the groans and sighs coming from beneath him Cartman was enjoying it too. Kyle curved one finger reaching up and moving it around a little until. "'Gnnnh...Kyyyle. ...again" Score! he'd found the prostrate. Kyle chuckled as he added a third finger feeling Cartman tense beneath him briefly at the intrusion before relaxing into it. "Enough...enough" the other boy panted "I need you inside me ...NOW". Kyle was happy to oblige, pulling his fingers out he patted Cartman's thigh in sympathy as he whimpered at the loss and with just a little fumbling he had the condom on and his cock oiled up. God he was so hard, he was ready to explode before he had even had a chance to enter the other man. He took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm himself down before lifting Cartmans' legs to expose that waiting, glistening hole. Kyle gave a whimper at just the sight of it. Kyle was almost coming just from the anticipation, he pushed forward so just his tip was brushing the opening and Eric immediately jerked upwards is if to capture him. Kyle eased himself in, inch by inch, more for his own control that for Eric's comfort, who in fact was begging Kyle to go faster. Once fully seated inside Kyle knew he wouldn't last to make this a long drawn out affair and from the quivering response below him he thought Eric was the same. He reached out with hand and grabbed Eric's erection pulling it through his hand roughly. "Kyle, I'll come too soon" Eric complained. "Come. Come. Come" Kyle was chanting as he pulled out and thrust back in, not sure whether he was talking to himself or Eric. "Oh God...Yes, God Yes" he yelled as he pounded into the arse below him, he felt Eric tighten and clench around him and the hot, wetness in his hand as Eric came over his fist and then the rush of blood to his head and the pulsating rhythm through his body almost led to him passing out as he too came. He lay on top of the other man panting harshly. It took a few minutes before he had enough control of himself to pull out and roll off, disposing of the condom. They lay there side by side both still breathing heavily, Kyle turned to look at the larger man next to him to find his gaze met directly and suddenly they were both laughing and Kyle found himself pulled into the embrace of the other man, resting his head on the muscled chest he was surprised at how comfortable it was. But he couldn't enjoy it for long because suddenly another image superimposed itself on his current situation, of being held by Stan in similar circumstances. It was like being ducked in a bath of ice water. He actually gasped and as his breath was sucked out of him and before he even had a chance to be embarrassed he was crying again, the sobs wracking his body. Eric just held him, running a hand soothingly down his back until his sobs eased to gentle hiccups. "when will it stop hurting, when will I get over him?" Kyle still had his face to buried in the other boys soft chest hair so he didn't have to face his embarrassment, but Eric's reply was soft and full of understanding. "You never forget your first love, but you will learn to love again. I did" Kyle looked up at this unexpected admission. "You loved someone before Mike?" he asked, his inquisitive nature suddenly taking control, why didn't he know this?. Eric just looked down at the smaller boy sprawled across his chest, running a hand gently through the aubern curls. "Yeah I had the biggest crush for years, all through school, but he never noticed me at all, not like that anyway." Eric's eyes softened as they looked into Kyle's. "I was too scared to make myself vulnerable so instead of telling him I liked him I made his life hell instead, coz at least then he acknowledged me" Kyle could feel his stomach clenching as a sudden suspicion started to grow in his mind. "My heart broke when he left town to go live with his boyfriend, it's why I chose to move away and join the army." Kyle knew he was doing the goldfish impression again "me" he whispered so softly he was not sure any sound actually came out but Cartman tilted his slightly in acknowledgment.

Kyle was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of panic, he wasn't ready for this he wasn't ready to move on, he still loved Stan even if Stan didn't love him, he couldn't cope with someone else's feelings. He couldn't do what Stan had done to him, to someone else. Kyle is not sure what he said or did whilst the deafening sound of his own blood was roaring in his ears, but he suddenly became aware he was being pinned against the bedroom door by an immoveable object. "Kyle listen to me" The commanding tone caused Kyle to raise his head to meet the hazel ones above him. "I'm not professing my love for you, I'm talking about an unrequited crush when I was a kid, Mike…Mike taught me what love really is and my feelings for you well they weren't the same. Having said that of course I still fancy you, I always did love your hair and your cute arse". Cartman punctuated his rant by groping Kyle's naked arse at that point and Kyle couldn't help think that the other man's hands were the perfect size to cup one of his arse cheeks and blushed a little at the thought. " What I'm saying.." Cartman continued " is that I'd like to see you again, do this again but no expectations, just starting afresh. Two guys getting over their heartache together…and having a little fun along the way." Kyle could feel the warmth and strength of the other body pressed against him and it felt good, despite the fact he had only just come he could feel his cock twitching in response. This was Cartman but it wasn't, Eric was a very different man from the boy Kyle had grown up with and despite himself he was interested in learning more, he found himself nodding in agreement.

"Great" Cartman stepped back and Kyle's legs almost gave way beneath him without the weight of the other man holding him up. "Lets grab a shower and then you better get home and let your parents know that big bad Eric Cartman hasn't dismembered you and buried you in the cellar."

Eric started striding off to the bathroom "Look some old friends are coming to town to see me this evening, why don't we catch up tomorrow night go and get a bite to eat" he called over his shoulder.

"What like a date!" Kyle couldn't help the exclamation.

"No like old friends catching up" Cartman shot him an amused look and then holding out a hand he added. "So are you coming, the shower is big enough for two you know, my Mother made sure of that" Cartman shot him a lascivious look and Kyle couldn't prevent the smile that bloomed on his face. Why not? He quickly joined the other man stepping into a long hot shower. They took turns turns to soap and clean each other with long, slow erotic strokes, interspersed with deep sensual kisses, just enjoying the buzz of the orgasmic afterglow they shared. Kyle would never have believed this sort of casual intimacy could feel so good…with Cartman.

Returning home Kyle had to fend off questions from his parents about where he had been and why he hadn't come home and Kyle had to remind them several times he was an adult now. Then to prove it he spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon job searching now that he wasn't going travelling for a year he needed to find a graduate position and he'd missed the graduate placement round, thanks to Stan. It was just as he was closing his laptop having found and applied for 3 different positions, and stretching out his back that his phone beeped and his heart leapt into his throat again at the thought it could be Stan. It wasn't, it was his brother Ike. He was just finishing his shift at the post office where he was working for the Summer and inviting him to join him and some of colleagues for a drink over in North Park. He hadn't had much time to talk to his brother yet and he could do with a break so Kyle typed his agreement and headed out.

The bar his brother was in was busy despite the early hour it was only just 5pm by the time he got there, it seemed there was a bunch of squaddies enjoying some recreation time in one half of the bar, but he quickly found his brother and his mates ensconced in the other half around the pool table. "Yo bro" his brother greeted him as joined them "fancy a game?". "Sure why not". They stacked up the balls and soon they had fallen into their usual brotherly bickering and Kyle actually found he was enjoying himself for the first time since he left Stan, excluding that night with Eric of course. They were just finishing up the third and final deciding match, and it looked like Ike was going to win, when Kyle felt a tap on his shoulder, behind him stood one of the squaddies. "Hey guys fancy a game of pairs when you finish the round" the newcomer asked. Kyle swapped a glance with his brother who shrugged in response, "Sure" he replied "Let me just wipe the floor with my brother here".

As they set up and started the new game Kyle felt obliged to make conversation with the two newcomers. "So, some sort of celebration going on then" he indicated the noise still coming from the other room. "Yeah" the other man replied. He leant over and played a couple of shots in quick succession before looking back up. "Horse picked up his commendation this morning". "Horse?" Ike queried joining in the conversation "What like as in hung like a…" he asked with a leer on his face. The other man laughed "Yeh, that's part of it but also coz of his name, you know Horse and Cart..man". Kyle felt something catch in his throat and he completely miss hit the ball causing his brother to shoot him an evil look. "Commendation for what?" Kyle asked standing back up again but keeping his back to the other man so he couldn't see the flush across his face. Now he listened carefully he could hear a familiar baritone laugh over the top of the other background noise. "Umm.. what? Oh, we are all part of a squad that was out in Afghanistan, there was an …incident…well without Horse and Mouse some of us wouldn't be here today. Well Mouse isn't….and Horse got hurt you know, first time we've seen him in five months" Kyle could feel a strange tightness in his chest. "Mouse as in Mickey as in Mike?" he asked softly looking at the stranger now for acknowledgement, the other guy was looking at him oddly. "Yeah…..you knew him?"

Kyle shook his head "But I was at school with Eric Cartman though". A brilliant smile suddenly lit up the other man's face. "No Shit, you're an old friend of Horse". Kyle could hear Ike cracking up behind him spluttering about "fat arse, horse and war hero". It probably did sound a bit incredible if you hadn't seen Eric recently. He felt himself pulled into a one-armed hug, "Come on you have to come say hello". "no no" kyle tried to resist but the man was a mountain and he found himself being dragged along in his wake, he shot an apologetic look over his shoulder at his brother who just shrugged in acknowledgement and went back to his other mates.

"Hey Horse" the man who had him in a bear grip called across the bar in a voice that brought silence down in seconds. Everyone turned to look in their direction and Kyle could feel the heat in his cheeks again, damn why did he still flush so easily, but then his eyes caught movement and he saw Erics large form take shape before him. "Look who we found" his captor was still calling out despite the reduced noise level and the fact that Eric was right in front of them. Eric was looking at him with one eyebrow raised in question. Kyle raise one hand and waggled his fingers in greeting in what he hoped was ironic rather than pathetic. "Kyle" Eric acknowledged and Kyle could hear humour in his voice and also was that concern, confusion. Shit did Eric think he'd followed him. "Umm,..I was with my brother…playing pool…he asked me to meet him here…didn't realise you were with this group until.. ummm" he gestured to the man who still held him realising he didn't know his name "Gary" he helpfully supplied. "uumm..yeah Gary, really just Gary?" he couldn't help the aside but shook he head and looked back at Eric "mentioned he was here with his mate 'Horse'" he smiled sheepishly knowing he was babbling. Eric didn't reply but just looked up at Gary. "Ok you can drop him now Gazza" and Gary obediently let him go but Kyle only had chance to grab one breath before he found himself held tightly against another body, this time by Eric. Eric was looking around the bar proudly. "This is my best friend from school, Kyle" Kyle jerked at that, best friend seemed a bit of an exaggeration, but then again who else did Eric have to claim that role and then Kyle found himself being assailed by all sides with questions about Eric or Horse as half the guys seemed to refer to him asking what he had been like growing up. "A bit of an arrogant shit actually" Kyle admitted truthfully. "He used to make my life hell". Eric laughed and nodded his head in agreement. "Not changed much then" came the call from someone else and Kyle smiled to see the easy camaraderie Eric had with these guys. It was not something they had shared much in school. "hey" Gary asked "We are just going to grab some dinner come with us and tell us all about Horse when he was a pony". Kyle felt Eric's arm, which was still sitting comfortably around his waist, stiffen, he glanced at Eric but his expression was unreadable. "No" Kyle responded "I'm here with my brother tonight and anyway you guys have some catching up to do of your own." He caught the grateful look from Eric and knew it was the right decision, these guys had known Mike too and Eric would want to reminisce tonight. He smiled at Eric in understanding but even so he felt a pain twist inside, was that Jealousy, no that would be ridiculous. "Thanks Kyle, see you tomorrow" Eric's voice was soft in his ear and he shivered as the warm breath tickled his senses. With one extra squeeze Eric finally released him. Kyle took a step backwards raising a hand in acknowledgement he called out his Goodbyes, but just as he was about to leave he felt his arm grabbed and he was pulled down the corridor to the bathroom out of sight of both rooms. "What" he turned around suddenly and saw Gary looming over him. "It's ok mate didn't mean to freak you out" Gary held both hands out in front of him to show Kyle was free to leave any time. "I just wanted to say whatever it is you've done to put the smile back on his face, keep doing it"

"Eh?" Kyle was confused. "we are just friends, we only met up again a few days ago"

"Yeah" replied Gary "and a week ago when I spoke to him on the phone Cartman was still as miserable as a wet weekend, not that he didn't have a right to be, but tonight I could tell something had changed right off, and then I saw the way he held on to you….just saying you seem to be good for him and that man deserves some happiness" with that Gary disappeared into the men's room leaving Kyle gaping after him again. Damn how many times was he going to do the startled goldfish impression this week. He shook himself and went back to join his brother. "hey you ready to make a move Ike?" he asked. "Thought we could go grab a bite catch up properly brother to brother."

"Sure" Ike downed the rest of his beer, shouting the goodbyes to his mates, they headed out to Kyle's car. On the way the passed the group of squaddies similarly making their way out to their own transport and Eric and Kyle nodded at each other in acknowledgement. Kyle turned to find his brother staring at him quizzically. "You going to tell what's going on there?" he asked. "Nothing to tell" Kyle denied "Come on I fancy some chinese tonight."

Later sitting over a banquet for two at the local Dragon's Nest restaurant, Kyle had quizzed Ike about the university course he had chosen and his plans for the future like the good big brother he was, when Ike suddenly leant back in his seat and looked at him with a piercing gaze. "Ok, I've done my bit now spill….what really happened with Stan and where does fatboy come into the story" Kyle considered prevaricating or denying everything but he could tell Ike wasn't going to let him get away with it. Anyway Ike had always known when something was going on with him, Ike had been the first one he'd told when he had realized he was gay.

"It's a mess" Kyle admitted. "Stan came out the closet and admitted he was straight". Ike just raised an eyebrow. "He is going to marry Wendy have his 2.4 kids and a dog and live happily ever after." He couldn't help the bitterness in his tone.

"Ok that explains the mad dash home to mummy and daddy but what is it with fatboy I thought you hated him at school."

Kyle blushed and looked at the table so he didn't have to meet the too knowledgeable gaze of 18 year old baby brother. "Ummm… Eric…Cartman is different from school, you know he grew up".

"I noticed" Ike chuckled "Filled out a bit too didn't he"

"I'm not talking physically,..although yeah" Kyle could feel the colour rushing into his cheeks "he has ..ummm..improved…but I meant character wise. He's been through a lot in the last 4 years it's changed him. His not quite as big an arse as he used to be"

"yeah" Ike was laughing out loud now "I saw you checking out his arse earlier. So what that guy was saying about fatboy being some sort of war hero was true then?"

"Yeah, he got shot in the shoulder…..and he lost someone….someone he was very close to."

Ike looked at him speculatively. "So you stayed overnight at his place last night then…are you helping each other get over your respective heartbreaks or what?"

Kyle just nodded, there was no point lying to his brother he tensed waiting for the laughter or the teasing to start. Instead he felt his brother's hand cover his own. "can't say I understand your choice, either of them to be honest, but I'm not going to judge. If it makes you happy…just make sure Eric Cartman is really gay, you don't want a repeat."

Kyle smiled. "Oh, from last night I can say he is definitely gay" Kyle winked wickedly and took pleasure as his brother squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "Details not required Kyle" he complained and both brothers laughed.

The next night Kyle chose his clothes carefully, although it had to be the jeans again because it was that or tracksuit pants, he would have to go pick up his stuff soon, but he wore the smartest shirt he had brought with him. It was soft green cotton and looked good with his eyes. He felt nervous and had to keep reminding himself that this was not a date it was just dinner between friends but he couldn't help a flutter of anticipation about what might happen later, after dinner. He'd pre-warned his parents he might be late, or not come home at all, so they didn't worry about him.

Cartman was picking him up at 6.30pm and he'd planned to be waiting outside to avoid the questions from his parents but at 6.15pm the doorbell rang and by the time he had put on his boots and run downstairs Cartman was ensconced in the living room being grilled by his parents as though he were a prospective prom date for their virginal teenage daughter. He grabbed the other boy's arm. "Mum, Dad we've gotta go or we'll be late" he said the embarrassment showing in his voice, he knew he probably sounded just like that teenage girl they were treating him like. "Come on" he managed to drag the reluctant man out of the house and into the waiting car. "well Kyle that was rude, your parents are only concerned about your prospects." Eric said with a teasing note in his voice. "Oh God" Kyle buried his head in his hands 'Please tell me they didn't ask you, what your intentions to me are, and what your future prospects are like?"

"They most certainly did" came the smug reply "and I told them my intention was to fuck you into the mattress until you can't walk tomorrow and the future prospect was for more of the same" Kyle groaned. "Tell me you didn't really say that" he pleaded. Eric just gave him an exasperated look. "Of course not, they were asking after Mum and I told them she was staying with her sister for a while, and then I said we were just going to have a boy's night out and not to be worried if you didn't make it home coz we might crash at mine."

Kyle gave him an apologetic look "Well you can't blame me for being worried, the boy I knew in school wouldn't have hesitated to say something like that". Cartman shouted in laughter as he turned the car key. "yeah I really was a shit to you then wasn't I?" The two men shared a brief look before Eric pulled out of the driveway and set off for the restaurant. He'd chosen a small steakhouse just outside of town, known for it's good food but also known as a dating hotspot. Kyle looked around at all the tables for two, set with candles to give a romantic glow. "why here?" he stage whispered across the table. "I feel like the odd one out, look half the couples are holding hands across the table. It's an obvious date restaurant."

"I like the food" Cartman replied easily. "If it worries you we can hold hands too" before Kyle could protest he found his hand clasped tightly in the other boys grasp. "What are you doing we can't hold hands" he hissed embarrassed. They would be kicked out for causing a scene and oh no, the waiter was coming over. Kyle awkwardly struggled trying to release his hand but Cartman was not letting go. "Can I take your orders, Sirs" the waiter asked politely. Kyle stopped struggling to get his hand free because that might make the situation worse but his face had flamed to a bright red. "I'll have the crab soup to start and the Ribeye with blue cheese sauce for the main course" Eric replied, his voice was completely calm and as if nothing odd was going on. "Umm..." Kyle flustered "I'll just have the …eh…Caesar salad and ummm….fillet with mushroom sauce". "and to drink" the waiter asked. "The house shiraz will be fine" Cartman ordered. "Very good, sir" the waiter took their menu's and departed without giving away with even a glimmer in his eyes that he thought it odd two men were holding hands across the table. Cartman let his hand go then and sat back. "See no-one cares what we do. I'm guessing PDA's were a no go for you and Stan then…I guess that means you never kissed in public either let alone…." A wicked glint in Eric's eyes warned Kyle he was planning something. "Oh that's given me an idea for later." Eric whispered softly and Kyle felt his body heating up at the erotic tone in Eric's voice.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly with lots of laughter and reminiscing about school and by the time the dinner plates had been removed and the boys were finishing their wine Kyle found he didn't mind so much when Eric put his hand over his own, using his thumb to gently caress the back of it. In fact it felt very nice and Eric was right no-one was taking any notice of them at all. After they had settled up, Eric insisted on paying this time as it had been his invitation but agreed that Kyle could pay next time, they exited the restaurant to the carpark at the rear. But instead of moving in the direction of his car Eric guided Kyle to the dark corner, behind the large trash bins.

"What are you doing, it's filthy here?" Kyle asked in confusion until he found himself pushed against the dark wall at the back of the restaurant and his words sucked from his mouth by the other man. Large hands were scrabbling at his shirt, untucking it and unbuttoning it. Then fingers were caressing his nipples and running over his chest and stomach. Kyle gasped when he felt a large hot hand cup his rapidly expanding cock through his jeans. "Cartman we can't do this here" he groaned. "We'll be seen".

"Not if you are quiet" the other man replied, his hands were now undoing the Kyle's belt, while he used one thigh placed between Kyle's legs to massage his groin. "It's dark here and obscured by the bins, no-one has any reason to look over here unless you get noisy." As if to prove his point a couple had just arrived, walking past their hiding place without even a glance in their direction. Kyle whimpered as he felt Eric's hand caress his hardened member through the cotton of his shorts, he had somehow lowered the zip to his jeans without Kyle noticing. "You want this Kyle, you are as hard as a rock and I haven't even touched you properly yet" whispered Eric. "I'm going to blow your brains out" he promised as he used his tongue to lick a trail from under Kyle's chin, down his neck, across first one erect nipple then the other and then down his over his belly button and down the waistband of his shorts. Kyle knew he should stop this, doing this in public, where anyone could see them if they looked closely enough was wrong, but as he felt Eric pull down the waistband of his shorts and jeans just enough to free his pulsating cock and touch the tip of it with his warm wet tongue, he knew he didn't have the willpower to stop it. He couldn't help the whimpering groan that left his lips the moment he felt Cartman envelop the head of his penis with his mouth and his eyes popped open to check no-one had heard him. "I've never done a circumcised one before" Eric sighed as he ran a tongue all the way up from the base to the tip. "It's different…but nice" at that Eric swallowed him whole, he could feel the tip of his cock nudging the back of Eric's throat and the warm muscle that was Eric's tongue wrapping around him, massaging his sensitive member mercilessly. "Oh shit Eric" he couldn't help calling out. His hands found the other man's head, his fingers tangling in his soft hair, he found himself holding him still so he could thrust in and out of that warm moist cavity. "Oh fuck" he groaned "I'm not going to hold on" he suddenly felt a warm touch to the base of his balls stroking his perineum and upwards. He felt his balls contract at the touch. "Coming…Coming" he called in warning and pulled the other man off his cock just in time before he let loose a white pulsating stream. Kyle hardly had time to gather a breath before he found his arm grabbed and he was pulled down to the ground, "What..?" he tried to ask but Eric placed a finger against his lips and indicated back towards the bins. "I tell you I heard something" came a voice from the other side of the bins. Kyle suddenly felt his face fire up in mortification, they were going to be found. "Well there is nothing there now" came another voice "Come away it's dirty and smelly and it was probably just rats". Kyle looked around himself in consternation just in case there were rats, but he couldn't see anything and he could hear footsteps as the voices receded. Suddenly he was grabbed in a bear hug and he could feel the other man shaking with laughter. "Shit Kyle, I'll have to remember you are screamer and bring a gag next time.". "Am not" he argued affronted. "Are so" came the reply "and it was really hot so I'm not complaining." He felt his lips captured in a scorching kiss, well maybe he had got a little carried away. They quickly put their clothes to right, and made their way to the car before anyone else came through, neither stopped laughing until they had gotten back to Eric's place and fallen naked into each other's arms onto the bed, to continue where they had left off.

Kyle stretched out the next morning, he felt sore in all the right places, Eric had kept his word and really had pounded him into the mattress and it had been fantastic. Sex without emotional involvement really had some good points. He could hear noises downstairs and sure enough a few minutes later Eric came in with two mugs of coffee. "Good morning or should I say afternoon, you students don't know what an early start is" he quipped, Kyle glanced at the clock. "It's only 10am, it's not that late" he retorted. "just coz you ex-squaddies are used to getting up at dawnbreak doesn't mean the rest of us do. Anyway I want to enjoy the late mornings while I can"

"Surely you'll be able to enjoy as many late morning as you want on your around the world trip" Eric queried, sitting down on the edge of the bed, Kyle scooting up to make room for him.

"No, that's not going to happen, I'm looking for a job instead" Kyle couldn't help feeling a bit wistful about the end of his dream of travelling the world and knew it showed in his voice.

"Why would you do that?" Eric sounded genuinely confused.

"Umm..well I don't really want to go on my own and anyway I've lost the tickets" he mumbled he knew he probably sounded pathetic but it just didn't feel right.

Cartman grunted and got up moving to his desk he opened the drawer and pulled out two slips of cardboard, he threw them on the bed. They were the tickets. "You left them on the table in the pub that first night, I thought you knew I had them." Kyle softly caressed them, they represented lost dreams, he remembered the planning he had done, all the places he had wanted to visit and might now never get the chance when real life caught him in it's grips.

"You don't have to go alone you know" Cartman continued. "I'm kind of at a loose end myself, I've got my disability payment and a bit saved up and it doesn't cost much to change a name on a ticket."

"But…But…." Kyle was shocked he hadn't even considered doing this trip with someone else. "What about your future plans, you can't put it all on hold for me."

"I wouldn't be putting anything on hold. I hadn't given any thought to my future until recently…but I've been thinking the last few days about what I want to do and …..I think I'd like to go to college…I'm thinking of becoming a teacher" he admitted shyly looking at Kyle from below lowered lashes. "But I'm too late to apply for a start this year, so I could put my application in to start next year and take a gap year as well."

Kyle was doing the startled goldfish again and consciously shut his mouth, he shook his head to try and clear it. "You know what" he said finally "If someone had told me even a few months ago that Eric Cartman wanted to be a teacher I would have thought they were on drugs and warned child protection services….but now I can sort of see you doing that…." Eric grinned in response.

"But travelling together isn't that a bit too soon, what if….you know…you and me….what if it doesn't work or whatever" Kyle mumbled at the end of the sentence.

"Look Kyle you and me are not love's young dream, we both know that. It's good and maybe with a bit of time it might become something more or it might just fizzle out. It's an adventure isn't that what the trip is all about. If you are too scared of what might happen you will never take a risk, that's what I did as a kid and I'm not going to live my life like that as an adult…so what do you say…shall we step into the unknown and just see what happens." Eric is grinning at him like a lunatic and suddenly he can't help himself he is grinning back stupidly. "Why not…yeah lets just do it…do something reckless and stupid before I have to become the staid sensible lawyer."

"Not sure I appreciate being called reckless and stupid but great I'll sort out the tickets" Cartman replied the grin still in place so Kyle knew he wasn't really upset at his choice of words. Then they were pressed against each other on the bed, clothes dismissed, frotting against each other madly, bringing each other to a rushed, messy and very satisfying climax.

The following week went in a blur, as Kyle got his travel plans back on track and made a trip back to his old apartment to gather up the rest of his belongings before the tenancy agreement came to an end. It hurt seeing the apartment bare of any sign of Stan, who had already moved over to New York with Wendy according to the note he had left. Packing up his belongings really felt like the end of a chapter in his old life and it hurt badly, however the excitement of the trip helped offset the pain and Eric was fun to be around.

It was the day before they were due to depart and due to the early flight in the morning they had decided to stay in a motel near the airport overnight. Kyle had already said goodbye to his parents and Ike and promised to stay in touch at least once a week so that they knew he was still alive and Eric was due over any time so Kyle had left the front door on the latch as he prepared his last minute checklist. So when he heard the door open he didn't look up immediately.

"Hello Kyle". His whole body froze, that wasn't Eric's voice, there was no mistaking those tones. "I've missed you." What the hell. "STAN" he exploded as twirled around on the spot feasting his eyes on the face and body of his best friend, someone he hadn't expected to see again for at least a year. "What are you doing here…you are supposed to be in New York….what about your job?" Kyle spluttered this didn't make sense what had Stan turned up now, today.

Stan was looking at the carpet rather than at his best friend and ex-lover. "I hate the job…I hate New York and….I…..miss you". Kyle thought his legs had turned to jelly, isn't this exactly what he had wanted to hear. He swallowed the mouthful of saliva that had suddenly built up.. " ..what about W. ?" he stuttered

Stan's face coloured a rare occurrence for the darker skinned boy. "I don't know, I just know I miss you" He looked up then capturing Kyle's gaze with his own "and I want you back in my life." With that Kyle found himself captured in the other boy's arms, his lips pressed against his own. There was a familiarity to the embrace that Kyle couldn't resist and he found himself relaxing into the embrace, allowing the other boy's tongue entrance it quickly ravished his mouth with a familiar aggression and sense of urgency, nothing like the slow, passionate kisses he had shared with Eric. Eric, why was he thinking of Eric now.

"Oh - sorry" Kyle pulled away at the interruption to see the man that had just been in his thoughts made flesh and standing behind them with a peculiar look on his face. "Eric…" Kyle wondered what he could say, he didn't actually know what was happening himself. Stan whirled around as well to stare at the new arrival. "Cartman" he growled "What the hell are you doing here.? You better not be bothering Kyle again" he threatened. Eric threw a quick glance at Kyle noting the high colour in his cheeks and the tousled hair and nodded to himself as if making a decision. "I just came to return the tickets" he replied his voice although calm on the surface reflected a strain that Stan probably wouldn't pick up but Kyle did. "I guess you will need them now, but you'll have to get the name changed again" with that Eric whirled around and headed out the door letting it shut noisily behind him. "Eric…wait" Kyle called out but it was too late he'd gone.

"What the hell was that about?" Stan asked angrily he picked up the tickets his eyes widening as he saw the names. He looked at Kyle incredulously "You were going to do _our_ trip with fatboy" Kyle wasn't sure whether it was the tone of voice, the words or the use of the outdated nickname but suddenly something clicked inside his head. He grabbed the tickets out of Stan's hand putting them into his pocket. "First off it stopped being 'our' trip when you told me you were dumping me for Wendy after you'd fucked me one last time of course, secondly how dare you question who I choose to spend time with after you chose that bossy cow over me, and thirdly Cartman is hardly 'fat' anymore in fact he is pretty hot."

Stan just stared at him. "Are you saying you and Fat..Cartman are sleeping together." Stan's voice was incredulous; the answer was clear in the guilty flush on Kyle's face. "He's using you Kyle, can't you see that, he just wants a free trip. Don't be so gullible he'll walk all over you"

Kyle stood up straighter, he knew why Stan would think that based on the old Cartman but he knew it wasn't true anymore. "Actually Stan, it's you who have been using me, and walking all over me. I was so scared of losing you altogether I never put my foot down and insisted you chose between me and Wendy. I don't know what or who you want and I don't think you do either" Kyle noticed the guilty jump and knew he had hit a nerve. "But I don't think it's me or Wendy to be honest or you would have made your mind up long ago. I think you are scared of being alone and having to find someone new. I love you Stan, I always will, but I want more than this. I don't know whether that will be Eric but I want a chance to find out and I think you should too."

"But Kyle I don't know what I'm going to do now, I left the job, I left Wendy…what do I do now?" Stan sounded so scared and uncertain that Kyle was tempted to take him in his arms to comfort him like old times, but he resisted the urge, they needed to do this for both of them.

"I'm going on this trip and I'm going to be away for a year, use that time without me or Wendy to fall back on. It's time you grew up Stan you've always been too dependent and too selfish. Eric has really grown up in the last 4 years you wouldn't know him now, and I'm growing up too. We'll talk when I get back, hopefully we'll both be different men by then, better men. Please go Stan and…Good Luck" Kyle felt his voice break on the last words but he knew this was the right decision and it seemed Stan knew it too because he left without any further argument. Kyle collapsed in a chair holding his head in his hands, everything had gone to shit again. He needed to find Eric and convince him to change his mind and come with him, but even if he couldn't he was still going, Eric was right he shouldn't give up his dreams because of someone else.

"So I've grown up then" came the deep baritone from the door. Kyle's head shot up to see Eric lounging in the doorframe. "I thought you'd left" Kyle exclaimed in surprise. "Nah, I just thought you needed time to talk….and I wasn't just going to give up and walk away like I did when I was a kid. Stan's not right for you, I knew that then but I was too scared to do anything about it. I wasn't going to throw my second chance away"

Kyle assessed the man in front of him and compared him to the boy he used to know at school, there was no comparison. "I can say you have definitely grown up and the results were worth the wait" Kyle grins and the other man grins back. "Right where is that list I was only half way through"?

Epilogue – 5 Years later.

" " the whiney tone penetrated the house causing Kyle to close his eyes and breathe deeply. "What now?" Eric had been in a mood all morning, probably more stressed about going to his partner's, ex-lover's wedding, than he wanted to admit. Kyle was trying to be understanding after all Eric had been very understanding when he and Stan had decided to rebuild their longstanding friendship after Kyle had returned from his year travelling, even if he didn't like them being alone together for too long. Hopefully watching Stan commit himself to someone else would allay some of those fears. Eric appeared in the doorway dressed in his best suit, and Kyle had to admit he looked stunning. He didn't see Eric dressed up very often these days, he'd just finished his course at college and had just started out in his first post as sports teacher in a primary school. So he spent most of his time in sports gear. Not that Kyle was complaining because he looked damned hot in that too but there was nothing like a well fitting suit. "Are you going to stop drooling long enough to tell me where my tie is" came the amused voice from the doorway. Kyle just smiled holding up the purple silk tie he had just been pressing. "Here let me" he said, passing the silk around the neck of the man in front of him, taking the chance to caress it as he went. He efficiently tied it off neatly then pulling on the end he brought the other man's mouth down to his own to capture it in a quick kiss, hot and dirty. "You'd better stop that if you want us to get there in time" the other man mumbled against his mouth. Kyle pulled back reluctantly, he slipped one hand down to pat the well formed arse before pulling back completely. "There is no way we are getting though this wedding without me molesting you in that suit at some stage" Kyle promised and he saw the answering gleam of lust in the other man's eyes. "Come on we'd better run I have best man duties".

As they got in the car Eric suddenly said. "I can't believe Stan is actually getting married, I didn't think he'd ever decide what he wanted, and I still can't believe it turned out to be Butters!"

"Not Butters, Eric, it's Majorine now remember, all legal and operational so to speak. They tested the new parts out last week."

Eric looked shocked "I really didn't want to know that…I still don't know why he…sorry she..would want to get rid of a perfectly acceptable cock…for womens parts" Kyle couldn't help giggling at the disgusted look on Eric's face. "Some men like women's parts." There was silence in the car while they both digested this unusual thought and then Kyle continued "and don't you think it's appropriate that the boy who couldn't decide between a man and a woman, ends up marrying a woman who used to be a man"

Eric smiled "Yep it seems our boy has finally grown up".


End file.
